Things were all good yesterday.
I was 18 in sophomore year and i decided i wanted to spend the summer with my friends. I had plans, big plans wake up middle of the day, megashare something like netflix, snacking in random hours, it was a pretty good monotonous but good summer. My family called every month or so to check up on me they weren't happy about the idea of me staying back. I study in a university in Thailand but originally i'm  from Bhutan so you can see why they wanted to see me so bad, i haven't been there for almost a year. I have the most incredible family, a large family my sensitive but head strong mom and i tell you no one can reason with this woman , my dad the reason for why we are the way we are, my trouble of a big brother, my "bigger" brother, my big and the eldest sister with her husband and my brother inlaw they gave me a nephew more than i bargained for, my closest cousin sister i would rather call her my sister she has been living in the same house before i was even born and she calls my mom, mom and dad, dad, my Apa Tsheri actually he is our Apa tsheri he is like a dad to me he is my second dad and mom and lastly My Grandma, i call her Abi. Abi has been there from the day i was born she was one of those grandmas who would save biscuits and sweets for you, she would scold you and sometimes i would taunt her and it would always amuse me to annoy her.

Skype call from mom.
They all looked well.

Skype call from sister.
Everyone says hi and i see my grandma is wearing hearing aids, it was too cute, she had no idea how it was working.

It was time for the next summer, i didn't wanna go to Bhutan but i would have to after all my dad threatened he wouldn't send money if i didn't come home this time.

Waiting for the plane to land counting in my head if i had all the presents ready for everyone, they love presents. i was filled with mixed emotions when i walked out the exit, my brother came to get me. I immediately called my mom only to find out Abi wasn't home in Thimphu she was here where i was in Paro. I got super excited i nagged my brother to take me to her, he only listened after my mom demanded he take me there.

i quite cant remember what i was expecting, i guess i was expecting Abi to smile and hug me and say how much she missed me. she was 93. I was filled with happiness even my eyes were teary as i walked up the stairs to meet her, when the door opened i could feel my breath stop my heart weighed down heavy, she was small, she was tiny all bones, if i held her i would be careful as to not bruise her.She was shrivelled up into a tiny ball on the sofa. I ran to hug her and i was wailing tears rushing down my face, my face it felt bloody my legs wimpy, i held her i could feel that i was wetting her clothes. i paused to look at her face really look at her. She was looking back me smiling, then she asked me the thing which killed me, literally that moment i shattered i was not at all a together person that time i was needy, i needed her, "Who are you?" i needed her to remember me. She was smiling. Completely oblivious of the situation, come to think of it it was funny in a way.
That day i refused to go back to Thimphu with my brother i stayed back with her, i felt i couldn't leave her not now. We talked alot but she still couldnt remember me.

Gemini (an original)

Love scared her. It completely destroyed her, devoured her whole, leaving her breathless.

Made her weak in the eyes of it but it gave her unrealistic strength when she wanted to fight for it.

Love indeed scared her, being in love that held her a prisoner, sometimes forever.

She can be loved.

But she doesn't want you to love her. Don't get her wrong. Oh!.. she loved to be desired. It was love, it disgusted her. Disgusted her to see you vulnerable. To be vulnerable. It scared her.

Love scared her. Exposing herself to you? She cannot handle it. She didn't want to be naked and transparent. Vulnerable? That just wasn't her. She was so used to being in control. She didn't want to lose herself completely and totally into you.

Love? she did not know how to handle it. She shut you out completely whenever you even showed the slightest hint of it,closed the door, dead bolted it, locked it, and hid away in a deep dark corner of her heart.

You can't see her, feel her, touch her or hurt her anymore.

This feeling, so intense but she protects herself, at least that's what she think she's doing.

She tried, she wanted to love you but she don't want you to love her. She doesn't trust herself. She found it hard to believe someone loved her unconditionally.She needed your love but she didn't want you to love her. She was afraid to accept your love.

A glimmer of light wanting to radiate and flash out. It scared her.